I want a new car. I want a new house. I want a new husband or wife. I want kids. I want a new job. I want more money. Wanting is part of life. I love wanting something new and shiny. Who wouldn’t?
The question I have been asking myself is, when I get what I want does it feel the way I wanted it to feel?
Are we ever happy where we are if we always want something else?
I want a new pair of jeans really means that I want jeans that make me feel a certain way when I find the right ones. Maybe I seek a darker wash, low rise, with a flare at the bottom. What I mean is that I have an image of what those jeans are and when I wear them I will fit that image. When that happens I will feel happy.
I have bought lots of jeans that have the responsibility of making me feel happier. And I do – for about a week.
I wanted a new job. I meant that I wanted a job that felt a certain way when I worked. I wanted to feel fulfilled. So, I played the wanting game. I wanted a job and I wanted the job to make me feel a certain way.
What I found was that the jobs did not make me feel a certain way, nor did the jeans. Wanting and wanting only left me with a sense of not having enough in the moment.
In truth, I love a new pair of jeans, but when I stopped wanting and started asking what I can give in every moment, I felt most fulfilled and, ironically, I started getting what I wanted.